Hello and welcome to my blog! My update, blog, music, etc... can now be be found at www.hannahjoybauer.com. Hope to see you there soon!
Hannah
rug.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
winter.
Walk, little fingers smiling in mine.
The snow comes, stilling noise, commotion, visiting with its ocean.
I can't seem to leave the fire alone! I grab another log and ash smears as I brush hair behind my ear. Music drifts smoothly in and out of the background hiding behind me. I feel His palm smiling as He holds mine.
Goodnight, snow day. :)
Goodnight, snow day. :)
Monday, January 9, 2012
Love's paradox.
Fresh air hit my face as I stepped out of the car. The air was crisp and mixed with unusual spurts of warmth all at the same time. I squinted in the sunlight and began to take stride.
Chambers Bay. There were people everywhere; runners, families with their dogs, men with their golf clubs... Something in my heart began to stir to the rhythm of my feet hitting those green hills, and I found myself whispering something under my breath over and over. "Jesus, have mercy on the northwest. Jesus, have mercy on the northwest. Jesus. (pause, pause). Have mercy on the northwest." I began to dream of the glory of the Lord, revival, signs and wonders, and salvation instead of the judgment that our sin required. Suddenly a thought dropped into my heart. What if a great outpouring of His spirit did come to the northwest and it ultimately caused hearts to grow harder and turn further away from Jesus because they were not ready?
Jesus knows the human heart. He is intimately acquainted with the slightest movement of every individual. What if His mercy was actually alowing a calamity that would cause hearts to turn TO Him (knowing that otherwise, they would not)? What if in His wisdom and love He knew just the right move to bring an individual or a people in tenderness to their knees again? What if most people would look at His 'mercy' and say He was unjust or harsh? The words, "Paradox of love" came to my mind. He knows the position of my heart, and in His love He will do whatever it takes to give me the opportunity to move towards Him. It may be hiding His face for a night to awaken dormant desperation. What I know is this. All His ways are kindness. This is what else I know. He will choose the KINDEST and GENTLEST way to bring a people to Himself. Oh the paradox of love.
I feel an invitation into this paradox. He wants to be known here. He wants those that will cry out and agree with the longings of His heart. He is looking for Esthers who will shift the outcome of an entire people by standing before "The Court." He is looking for those that will agree with His ways and call out for mercy. Jesus, (pause. pause.) have mercy on the northwest. Oh, turn our hearts back to you. Don't allow our hearts to harden but allow desperation to arise in every heart that will cause us to cry out for your Son. Oh, Jesus. Have mercy on the northwest. The longings of Your heart You keep for Your friends. You reserve your ways for those you can share them with. They are tender and they are precious.
My heart is still stirred as I round the last turn. My jog has now turned into a walk. My right knee hurts. He is looking for one who will stand in the gap. His desire is mercy. I know. I just know. He moves at the sound of my voice, at the movements of my heart in agreement with His.
"So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the LORD your God, For He [is] gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm. Who knows [if] He will turn and relent, And leave a blessing behind Him--A grain offering and a drink offering For the LORD your God?..." Joel 2:13-14
I believe the voices of those like Esther arising before the throne will determine what His mercy will look like. Oh it will be His mercy in whatever form it comes. Whatever it may be, I'm praying that He would relent from judgment.
I feel Him smile as the sun hits my cheeks. I smile back at Him and know He has a lot, lot to teach me.
Chambers Bay. There were people everywhere; runners, families with their dogs, men with their golf clubs... Something in my heart began to stir to the rhythm of my feet hitting those green hills, and I found myself whispering something under my breath over and over. "Jesus, have mercy on the northwest. Jesus, have mercy on the northwest. Jesus. (pause, pause). Have mercy on the northwest." I began to dream of the glory of the Lord, revival, signs and wonders, and salvation instead of the judgment that our sin required. Suddenly a thought dropped into my heart. What if a great outpouring of His spirit did come to the northwest and it ultimately caused hearts to grow harder and turn further away from Jesus because they were not ready?
Jesus knows the human heart. He is intimately acquainted with the slightest movement of every individual. What if His mercy was actually alowing a calamity that would cause hearts to turn TO Him (knowing that otherwise, they would not)? What if in His wisdom and love He knew just the right move to bring an individual or a people in tenderness to their knees again? What if most people would look at His 'mercy' and say He was unjust or harsh? The words, "Paradox of love" came to my mind. He knows the position of my heart, and in His love He will do whatever it takes to give me the opportunity to move towards Him. It may be hiding His face for a night to awaken dormant desperation. What I know is this. All His ways are kindness. This is what else I know. He will choose the KINDEST and GENTLEST way to bring a people to Himself. Oh the paradox of love.
I feel an invitation into this paradox. He wants to be known here. He wants those that will cry out and agree with the longings of His heart. He is looking for Esthers who will shift the outcome of an entire people by standing before "The Court." He is looking for those that will agree with His ways and call out for mercy. Jesus, (pause. pause.) have mercy on the northwest. Oh, turn our hearts back to you. Don't allow our hearts to harden but allow desperation to arise in every heart that will cause us to cry out for your Son. Oh, Jesus. Have mercy on the northwest. The longings of Your heart You keep for Your friends. You reserve your ways for those you can share them with. They are tender and they are precious.
My heart is still stirred as I round the last turn. My jog has now turned into a walk. My right knee hurts. He is looking for one who will stand in the gap. His desire is mercy. I know. I just know. He moves at the sound of my voice, at the movements of my heart in agreement with His.
"So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the LORD your God, For He [is] gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm. Who knows [if] He will turn and relent, And leave a blessing behind Him--A grain offering and a drink offering For the LORD your God?..." Joel 2:13-14
I believe the voices of those like Esther arising before the throne will determine what His mercy will look like. Oh it will be His mercy in whatever form it comes. Whatever it may be, I'm praying that He would relent from judgment.
I feel Him smile as the sun hits my cheeks. I smile back at Him and know He has a lot, lot to teach me.
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